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Wed, Sep. 24th, 2003, 01:17 pm
There's a kind of hush...

And so, bidding a fond, indeed slightly over-gay, thanks to Codekeeper Vanthal, here comes the second attempt at this "blog" felafel, and I'll try and do it properly this time. Initially, at least.

Rather fantastically, the main news story this morning was about a chatroom closing down. The main news story! Of all the World! And as a result the World has a spring in its step today. Not because it's nice not to have Bad Things Upon Us, although it surely is, but rubbish, monumentally unmomentous news helps us feel that little bit more important in this great big scheme we call things.

Case in point - last week there was another great main story, that postal workers were not going on strike. That's something NOT HAPPENING as the most important thing in the entire world, that day. Frakes! At the precise moment the funny man on the radio read that out, I was grilling blue cheese on a variety of bread products. Thus I felt immediately thrice as important as the postal workers. Here I was, doing something to their not doing something! And after the grilling was completed to my own personal satisfaction, I had another scheme in mind, namely to move to the nearest of my two settees and devour the basic yet finely-rendered snack with gusto unbound. So here was an actual news story of something happening, with a follow-up scenario which could afford endless speculation for the appropriate pundits. How long would the eating process last? Would there be a liquid accompaniment? And if so, spillage? What if - and I don't want to arouse undue panic among the populace here - I were to choke on a stiltonian nugget? All these possibilities and more could be outlined by a powerfully gimacing Andrew Marr in front of my residence, bald of pate and crazed of gesture, while Huw rocked his patented solemn/intrigued look back at base. A most excellent infotainment on all counts, I'm sure you'll agree. Beat that, Balzac!

This lunchtime (note to non-Londoners - lunchtime begins at 2.05PM) I shall see if I can't trump this feeble chatroom story with a shenanigan of my own. Of what stamp I am as yet undecided. All I can say at the present time is, M&S, prepare the escalator!

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